How To: stay sain while babysitting

You are at home, your sister just got her license and she wants to take you for a drive. You are extremely excited to go and then the phone rings. "hello?" you say all happy and in a good mood "hello Taylar? yes, this is Jerk Funkiller and I was wondering if you could watch the kids tonight while me and the Misses take in a movie." Then comes the awkward silence while your fighting back the string of things you want to say " My lord man! You would call right now wouldn't ya? You have a chip in your head that says OH! Taylar wants to go have fun, I must call her up and get her to watch Satan's children while I stay out all night and then come home and pay her 5 dollars." You keep this back and politely say "yes" and then ten minutes later you're sitting on a couch surrounded by 5 children who are all screaming different things.

This, is probably a situation we have all been in. Here are a couple of tips on how to stay sain while babysitting.

First, this is something every babysitter must remember. This first one is called "being in two places at once" and it involves being physically capable to run to all corners of a house. Here is a situation in which the "being in two places at once" rule would apply. There are two children, one says "play hide and seek with me" and the other one says "come downstairs and play my new video game with me" you may not want to but you agree to both things. Here is when being fit comes into play, you must tell the hide and go seeker that you are scared of counting and you have to hide all the time. While she is counting you run downstairs and quickly play a round of "spongebob bubble blast" with the other child. When you hear "ready or not!" you run into the nearest closet and wait to be found. Then start the process over, this is very effective because in most cases the children don't notice that you are not really interested in what ever they want you to play with them.

Second, this one is essential for survival. This one is called "the tear monster" Everyone knows there is nothing more annoying than a child that cries ALL THE TIME. This is how to avoid such a dramatic dilemma. Here is a situation in which you can use this tip. You are playing "snakes and ladders" when someone cheats and the other child notices and immediately starts screaming with tears rolling down their face. Then the child that cheated starts crying and pleading innocent. You take a second to process the events that just took place because nothing springs on you quicker than a tantrum. After you ready yourself you simply say "ya know what Satan's seeds? When I was younger I had this friend carlos and he cried a lot but one day carlos went missing. He cried because his sister cheated and denied it and so the Tear Monster came and ate him and he died." This stops all tears and you never have to worry about such things happening again because you add in this little detail " I know the Tear Monster, I have his phone number on speed dial."

Third, last but definitely not least is my favorite tip. "The truth bender" When you didn't want to babysit in the first place and then you get there and all the kids want to do is play games and run around, you have a very short fuse and absolutely no desire to get up off the couch. Here is a situation in which you can use "the truth bender." You are sitting on the couch watching a movie you were waiting all day to see when one of the children comes up to you and says "chase me! chase me!" You then say "hold on a sec bud, come sit down there is a princess in this movie and I know you will like it." This guarantees that you will be able to watch the entire movie because if the child says "when is the princess coming?" you say "umm, I think it's soon just watch." This can go on until the movie is over and then you can simply explain the lack of princess in the movie by saying "oh sorry bud, it must have been the wrong movie."

I hope these tips help some of you because they have helped me get out of some, well situations I didn't want to be in. CAUTION: some of these tips may cause parents never to call you again. But, be happy you got the situation over with and didn't lose your mind in the battle.